I had the pleasure of passing through Sydney a few days ago, on my way to visit family in Australia. I was walking through a park near Central Station, when I saw two guys with a sign advertising free english lessons. Just to put it into some context, this park is close to China Town, and hence has a large number of Asian people.
It soon became apparent that these two people were in fact Mormons. At this point I could feel my anger start to build. How despicable I thought. Entrap people on the pretext of free english lessons and then attempt to poison their minds with their kooky religion. Approaching people on the street is one thing, but to employ a tactic like this just takes it to a whole new level. The human equivalent of fly paper.
As I got close, it soon became apparent that they hadn't succeeded in entrapping anyone yet. The super stylin' white shirts they wear, with their distinctive black name badges are bit of a give away, so hopefully most people would spot the ruse from some distance away and promptly change course. I, however, had no intention of changing course. As I got close, one smiled at me rather warmly and greeted me with a kind 'hello'. I very politely told him to go 'f*ck himself'. By politely I mean that I smiled as I said it. I wasn't too concerned by my remark, as I knew his magical mormon underwear would protect him from my insults (seriously...they actually do wear magical protective underwear).
Now, I know you may be thinking that I was a tad harsh. It bears remembering that I was burdened with luggage at the time, so had no free hands with which to form a fist. Which was probably a good thing. So I would suggest that perhaps he got off quite lightly.
I have many problems with religion. So many in fact that I have blog fodder for some time to come. One particular problem though is the insistence of some religions to 'spread the word'. I just don't get it. I'm gay and rather proud of it. However, I don't feel any need to stand on a street corner, accosting people asking if they have a spare minute or two to discuss the homosexual 'lifestyle', while preaching from the Book of Kylie.
I'm all for people believing whatever non-sensical rubbish they choose. However, there are a few conditions attached to it. Firstly, keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear about it. The voices you hear in your head are yours and yours alone. Keep your delusions locked up inside your irrational, faith-based mind and I'll be happy. Secondly, do not impose your irrational beliefs on me or anyone else. Case in point, the current Proposition 8 in California, seeking to amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage. Delusional religious nut-jobs feel that gay marriage threatens the sanctity of marriage, and is a threat to families. My rational mind tells me that divorce is actually more of a threat to marriage. If you want to protect marriage, outlaw divorce. Watch society crumble as my partner and I get hitched...
Mormons are particularly adept at 'spreading the word'. Right now, there are around 56,000 mormon missionaries around the world. Think of all the people in the world right now as you read this, doing their best to dodge the deluded mormon on the corner. Thousands of people politely trying to say they don't have time, wishing desperately that that'd chosen someone else to accost.
I believe that one of the most insidious problems with religion is the way it attempts to get into our lives and control not just the way we live, but also how we think. It tries to impose its absurd beliefs on us, and when that doesn't work, demands that we be 'respectful' and accommodate their crazy notions.
Well, I won't respect, and I won't accommodate. Delusional behavior is not worthy of respect. Religion, and those who try to so shamelessly promote it, deserves nothing more than contempt.
Keep those little voices you hear in your head all to yourself, along with your antiquated, outdated ignorance, and we'll get along just fine. Actually, I doubt we will. Crazy nut-jobs, no matter how quiet they are, just ain't gonna make it onto my friends list.
Pack up your magical underwear, your mythical story books and go home. Have enough dignity and respect not just for yourself, but for those around you, to keep your delusions to yourself. Better yet, inject some rationalism into your life and abandon the voices in your head. Think of how much more fun it would be going out drinking and getting laid instead of preaching.
"You know, I used to be a mormon". What a great pickup line.
